Friday, September 05, 2014
A few months ago, Onederland was a fantasy. Something unseen for 20 years. I had stopped dreaming about it. Stopped believing it even existed. I had given it up.
Now, it's a goal -- a few steps away -- a reality growing closer daily.
56 pounds. That's my reality today. It's not a huge number by any means, but not small either. It is... attainable. It's a matter of a few weeks... a few months... a few more steps in the right direction.
Yes, I do dream of Onederland again. I think of it every time I'm confronted with chocolate-frosted sugar bombs. I think of it when I choose the foods I will eat and the hours that I spend swimming and walking.
I can feel it. In my bones... in my heart and soul. It beckons. It's waiting for me. It's the cool, crisp air in October. It's the fragrance of bayberry and pine.
It demands my attention and my dedication. To ignore its call is to deny myself and my strength of will.
It won't happen tomorrow or even days after tomorrow. It will come at its own pace. I will patiently mark the time and tick off the weight.
I will do what is best and right for me. I will ignore persistent whispers of self-doubt. I will shout out that this is MY time. I will not be denied.
I may slip. I may fall. I will find my footing and get up and move forward.
I believe the hardest step is the first one taken. That's the leap of faith -- the walk in the deepest hour of the night when even the stars have stopped twinkling. Each step takes me closer to the light. From here, I can see that first shimmering rays of dawn. The sun is rising and I am so much closer than I was yesterday.
I'll keep walking toward the sun. This time, I won't be blinded by the glare. I know where I am going and why.
I choose to leave the dark night behind me. I choose to dance in the brilliance of the sunshine.
Now, it's a goal -- a few steps away -- a reality growing closer daily.
56 pounds. That's my reality today. It's not a huge number by any means, but not small either. It is... attainable. It's a matter of a few weeks... a few months... a few more steps in the right direction.
Yes, I do dream of Onederland again. I think of it every time I'm confronted with chocolate-frosted sugar bombs. I think of it when I choose the foods I will eat and the hours that I spend swimming and walking.
I can feel it. In my bones... in my heart and soul. It beckons. It's waiting for me. It's the cool, crisp air in October. It's the fragrance of bayberry and pine.
It demands my attention and my dedication. To ignore its call is to deny myself and my strength of will.
It won't happen tomorrow or even days after tomorrow. It will come at its own pace. I will patiently mark the time and tick off the weight.
I will do what is best and right for me. I will ignore persistent whispers of self-doubt. I will shout out that this is MY time. I will not be denied.
I may slip. I may fall. I will find my footing and get up and move forward.
I believe the hardest step is the first one taken. That's the leap of faith -- the walk in the deepest hour of the night when even the stars have stopped twinkling. Each step takes me closer to the light. From here, I can see that first shimmering rays of dawn. The sun is rising and I am so much closer than I was yesterday.
I'll keep walking toward the sun. This time, I won't be blinded by the glare. I know where I am going and why.
I choose to leave the dark night behind me. I choose to dance in the brilliance of the sunshine.
for 90 Minutes today (with my fur-pal Gracie) and Mike. Lots of fun! 
and I love you all! 
